At some spare moments try to move into your brain, into your mind, into your thoughts and observe the activities of your thoughts.
Some times you have pleasant thoughts and many a times your thoughts are disturbing and unpleasant.You have troublesome and worrisome thoughts.
Are you able to watch them without yourself getting disturbed? It is not so easy task.
A thought produces an effect which is necessary for its own survival. Your mind jumps like a grasshopper from one thought to another. It takes pleasure or displeasure as per the nature of the thought.
Can you dissociate yourself from that pleasure or displeasure and watch the thought dispassionately or unemotionally.
If you are able to do this then you have created an observer in you.
But this observer is a silent observer. It does not put your thoughts into ‘good’ or ‘bad’ category. Never let it do so.
Otherwise you will put yourself in that cage of duality and double standards in which much of humanity is suffering.
Try to perform an activity which is called ‘completion of thought’.
While observing your thoughts you see that if a thought has the potential of hurting you psychologically you immediately move to another thought.
You never let that thought ‘complete’ itself.
Perhaps that is why thoughts disturbs you repeatedly.
Can you let your mind to act in a manner that you complete that hurting thought too and watch silently without feeling its hurt as if this has been happening with someone else?